General Sex Questions

After 5 years + together, my girlfriend still doesn't feel ready for intercourse. We acknowledge that we have different sex drives, but is it something I should be worried about?

Having intercourse is a very intimate process and some people may feel as though they are not ready yet. It’s understandable that it may feel concerning, however the significance of your girlfriend not feeling ready for intercourse can depend on many different factors, including different preferences and different libidos.

Communication is extremely important when you feel concerned about a part of your relationship. If you’re anxious about something in your relationship, do not be hesitant to bring in up with your partner. A few minutes of discomfort when talking could bring more intimate moments in the future. It’s also important to recognize that people have different sex drives (Holmquist, 2021). Try to understand where your partner is coming from and how you can help them.

Put in extra effort to make your partner feel loved and accepted without expecting anything in return (Young, 2020). Learn each other’s love languages and use those to help find some pleasure and desire in one another. Make your partner feel special and in doing so you will gain more love and desire towards one another.

To conclude, the main aspect that will help your relationship is communication. It is important to make sure that your partner knows your feelings and you understand theirs. If you feel as though you need more help, seek a professional, like a sex therapist or couples counselling, to help you strengthen your relationship.